


Counting Scars.

by bombhumpa



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Cuts, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Romance, Scars, Self-Harm, mormor, triggering?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:10:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2860235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bombhumpa/pseuds/bombhumpa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(This work contains self harm. Please be aware.)</p><p>  <em>Sebastian Moran has scars all over his body. Some are from knives, other from nails or shards of glass.</em><br/><em>James' scars are nothing like Sebastian's. James' scars are cuts, mostly on his wrists and thighs.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Counting Scars.

Sebastian Moran has scars all over his body. Some are from knives, other from nails or shards of glass. His back is striped, like a tiger's. Maybe that's why James always calls him that stupid nickname. 'Tiger'. "Because you act like one", he always says. Sebastian strongly suspects that's not the only reason.

Always when they lie in the way too narrow bed they share James trails his fingers over Sebastian's scars, counting them, asking him how he got them. "And this one? Was it before or after this?" Of course James has memorised all of the stories behind every single one of them, but he never grows tired of hearing Sebastian telling him. "A fight in a dark alley", or "A girl got really mad at me in a club", or simply "I ripped myself on a stupid nail."

James' scars are nothing like Sebastian's. James' scars are cuts, mostly on his wrists and thighs. Some are small, tiny lines, almost invisible. Others are exactly the opposite. Sometimes Sebastian asks him about them. 'Coping', was the only answer he ever got. "But don't it hurt?" he once asked. James hadn't even looked at him when he'd answered. "That's what it's meant to do." Sebastian had never asked that question again.

James never tells his tiger about his early years. James Moriarty never tells anyone about his early years. His early years are something that he's buried, stuffed to the back of his mind. James Moriarty never tells anyone.

Sometimes Sebastian returns home with new wounds. A slash to his arm, a bruise on his knee, or a bullet in his thigh. James always takes care of him, something Sebastian values over everything else. "You're getting too old for fights", James always tells him. Sebastian just laughs and tells him that "a tiger never gets too old".

Sometimes Sebastian sees new cuts to James' pale skin. He never gets to patch him up or clean the dried blood, just to trail his fingers over them, or kiss them. James doesn't like to be babied around, as he calls it. "You're a softy, Tiger", he always tell Sebastian. Sebastian never minds.

When Sebastian met the consulting criminal he had frequent cuts on his body, not even bothering if he showed them. As the time passed they faded, but they were still there. James still doesn't care if Sebastian knows, but outside their flat he always wear suits. Not even once has he gone outside with short sleeves since he's met Sebastian.

Sometimes when Sebastian's paying the bills in the last minute with Jim softly snoring next to him, that's when he hears it. It's just small things James mumbles in his sleep. Sometimes it's a name, sometimes it's an exclamation. Sometimes James bolts upright, covered in sweat. "What is it, love?" Sebastian always asks him. He never gets a proper answer.

They're much rarer now, the cuts. Sebastian almost always manages to talk James out of it. But when Sebastian's away and the memories are washing over him, threatening to drown him, then he finds relief in the red blood trailing down his pale skin and into the sink. The pain when the blade sinks into his skin, it is only then he can breathe. 

When Sebastian returns home and realises what James has done he always moves the day's plans to the next. No matter if it is buying orange juice, paying bills or eliminating another target, James is priority. He orders them disgusting take out and forces his boss to watch one ridiculous comedy after the other. Sebastian never comments it, but they both know that the other knows what's happened.  
They tend to end up in bed, cuddled close to each other, a mess of arms, legs and sheets, because that is how they do it, sooth each other. That's how Sebastian takes care of the man he loves.

James has never been an emotional man. The feeling he gets when he looks at Sebastian, he never understands it. The feeling he gets when they fuck roughly, he never understands it either. Nor does he understand what he feels when they are making love, cuddling or having dinner together.

Sebastian Moran has never been an emotional man, at least not until he met James Moriarty. Sebastian knows what he feels when he looks at James. It's the same feeling he gets when they fuck roughly, when they're making love, cuddling and having dinner together.

Sebastian Moran is in love with James Moriarty, and hopefully James Moriarty is in love with Sebastian Moran too.

**Author's Note:**

> What's better than some mormor to let emotions out?
> 
> Kudos and feedback is as always appreciated.  
> Love.


End file.
